


How to Save a Life

by misscashley



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depressing, Depression, Drug Use, Drugs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt Harry, Infidelity, M/M, Pain, Prostitution, Rape, Sexual Content, Smut, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-27 14:05:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/979815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misscashley/pseuds/misscashley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis cheats on Harry, and everything falls apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Skinny Girl Diet

"Whaddya think guys? Think we should celebrate the first show of our tour?" Niall grins, rolling in a cooler that was bound to be filled with alcohol. Liam gasps.

"Niall Horan, where did you get that?" Liam asks, looking at Niall as he shrugs sheepishly.

"Some folks left it outside their hotel room, I figured they weren't using it." Niall says, and everyone stared at Niall, who genuinely believed that it was okay for him to just take things sitting outside of hotel rooms.

"Ah, fuck it. Why the hell not?" Zayn says, leaping to his feet as Niall cheers. Zayn walks over, opens the cooler, and pulls out a bottle that was labeled Skittlez Vodka. Harry raises an eyebrow from his perch by the window, as Zayn stares at the bottle, suspicious.

"Well... Can't judge until you try it, right?" Zayn says, shrugging, opening the bottle as Niall shuts the door to Zayn's hotel room, which they were all gathered in.

"Crazy mofos." Louis mutters, pulling Harry into his lap, burying his nose in Harry's neck. Harry lets out a humming noise as Louis breathes in his scent, relaxing.

"Oi, get a room you fucktards. We're trying to celebrate over 'ere!" Niall exclaims, and Harry rolls his eyes.

"Come on Lou, lets try that Skittlez Vodka. I'm curious. Even Li is trying it." Harry wiggles his eyebrows, and Louis laughs, nodding in consent. Harry jumps to his feet, running over to join the other boys who were seated in a circle around the cooler.

"Pass me the bottle, Li." Harry says, as Liam hands him the bottle with a disgruntled look on his face.

"That is some nasty shit, man." Liam says, shaking his head as Harry looks at the bottle suspiciously. He glances around, and throws his head back as he lifts the bottle to his lips, taking three big gulps before putting the bottle down, gasping in a breath of air.

"Who comes up with these flavors?" Harry complains, wiping his mouth as Louis takes a seat next to him.

"Hey, I think it taste pretty good." Niall says defensively, grabbing the bottle from Harry, lifting it to his lips.

"I want to try some!" Louis exclaims, but instead of taking the bottle that Niall offers him, he grabs the collar of Harry's shirt and yanks him towards him, smashing their lips together. Harry gasps in surprise, and Louis sneaks his tongue in, licking up all the flavor inside of Harry's mouth, earning a moan.

"Oh, fuck you guys." Zayn mumbles, rolling his eyes, leaning forward to see what else is in the cooler.

Louis and Harry pull away from each other with a wet popping sound, and Niall groans, taking another swig of the Skittlez Vodka.

"Skinny Girl Vodka?" Zayn speaks curiously as he pulls out a cute little bottle.

"Give it to Harry, he's always looking to try new diets." Liam jokes.

"What?" Harry asks in confusion, still in a haze from the kiss he shared with Louis moments ago. "Give me what?"

"Here you go pretty boy, tell us how it is." Zayn says, tossing him the bottle. Harry catches it, fumbling for a second before getting a firm grasp on it. He reads the label, and scowls, glancing at Zayn.

"Why do I have to try it?" He complains.

"Because you're obviously the most feminine here." Zayn says simply, and Harry wants to protest that it's Louis, but he decides to save his breath. He pops the bottle open, and takes a deep breath, before throwing his head back, pouring the alcohol down his throat.

 

 

 

Harry isn't exactly sure when he got drunk, but it happened fairly quickly. One moment he was arguing with Zayn about who the best superhero, and the next, he was falling all over himself and stumbling around the hotel room.

"Haarrry, come sit down!" Niall whines, stretching his body out across the floor, reaching out for Harry who was currently trying to do a backbend.

"You just... bend your ba-" Harry cuts off, screeching as he loses his balance, and falls onto the floor, landing flat on his back. A laugh that Harry knows all too well fills the room, and before he realizes it, Louis is grasping his hand and pulling him to his feet.

"Come on Curly, you're going to bed." He says, wrapping an arm around Harry's waist, heading for the door.

"M'not tired Louu." Harry protests, sounding like a little kid as he sags against Louis. Louis, however, ignores his protests, and soon they're in their shared hotel room, and Louis is laying Harry down on the Queen size bed in the middle of the room.

"You're lucky I stayed sober Curly, otherwise you would've been sleeping on the floor, and we know how diva you get when that happens." Louis teases, and then he's at the door, telling Harry to get some shut eye, before turning off the lights and leaving the room. Harry whines, knowing that Louis couldn't hear him, and he flops around on the bed for a couple minutes before he finally finds a comfortable position. He's about to drift off, when he realizes that Louis didn't give him his good night kiss. He frowns, debating on whether or not to let it go, but he quickly decides not to, because good night kisses were his favorite part of going to sleep.

He pulls himself out of bed, and stumbles around for a minute or so before finding the door. He opens it, sliding out into the hallway. His vision was still a bit hazy, but he was a little bit more sober than he was before, now that he had a goal to achieve. He makes his way back to Zayn's room, opening the door, peeking his head in. Niall's passed out at the edge of Zayn's bed, Zayn is hanging off the couch, and Liam is sitting in a chair at the little table in the corner, reading a book.

"Hey LiLi, do you know where Louis went?" He asks, and his tone is a little bit needy, but he doesn't really care. Liam glances up at him, pursing his lips, like he had to think hard about how to answer this question.

"Yeah, he and James are just going over some dancing ideas for Louis in the gym." Liam finally answers, like it was completely normal for their choreographer to want to practice with one of them at two in the morning. Harry just nods, and shuts the door, heading for the gym, which was on the first floor. He finally gets there, but when he walks in, the gym is empty. Harry sighs, a bit annoyed. He just wants his good night kiss. He considers going back to bed, but then decides that he's come this far for his good night kiss, and he'll be damned if he doesn't get it.

Harry figures that they might've gone to James' room for a cuppa, so he goes to the front desk and asks for James' room number. It's on the second floor, so Harry begrudgingly makes his way to the elevator, and waits impatiently for it to take him to the second floor.

After wandering around the second floor for a while, he finally finds the room number that the secretary at the front desk gave him. He lifts his hand to knock when he sees that the door is cracked slightly. He rolls his eyes, pushing the door open and stepping inside. He opens his mouth to call out for Louis, but the sight he's greeted with makes him lose his voice.

Louis is leaning against the edge of the table in the room, his pants down to his ankles, and his head thrown back in ecstasy. James, their choreographer, was bobbing his mouth up and down on Louis' dick, and Louis had his fingers tangled in James' hair.

"So fuckin' good." Louis murmurs, and a strangled cry escapes from Harry's mouth. Louis' eyes snap open and they widen when they land on Harry. Harry's running out the door before Louis can say anything, and he hears Louis calling after him, telling him to wait, and he knows Louis tried to chase after him, but it's hard to run after someone when someone else has their mouth on your dick.

Harry doesn't bother with the elevator, he takes the stairs, stumbling and running into the wall as he hurries to get out of the hotel before he suffocates.

He bursts out of the hotel's front doors, and suddenly he's blinded with flashing lights. He forgot about the papparazzi.

"Harry! Harry Styles!" Someone screams, and he just shoves his way through the crowd, trying not to let himself be blinded by the tears in his eyes or by the flashing lights. He finds an opening in the crowd around him, and takes off running down the sidewalk, thankful that no one is chasing him.

He runs and runs and runs until he doesn't know where he is. He stops to catch his breath, and he finds himself on a lonely street with one street light flickering on and off. There was a pub at the end of the street, and a couple apartment buildings, but that was it. He lets himself slump against the wall of an alley way, his head lolling forward as sobs escape his body.

He has to go back to the hotel eventually, and he's angry at himself for letting himself fall in love with Louis, because love is  _shit_.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun rises, and Harry hasn't moved from his spot in the alley. His heart aches, and he thinks it wouldn't be so bad if he could just rip it out- though Louis was one step ahead of him with that.

He knows he should be getting back to the hotel, but he has no idea how he's supposed to face Louis, not after what happened. He doesn't want to start bawling his eyes out in front of Louis, that would be mortifying. Harry grimaces, grunting as he stands up. He slowly starts to head back towards the hotel, when he sees a diner. He decides to pop in, since it was early in the morning and there weren't a lot of people around.

Harry slides into a booth by the window, orders black coffee, and leans back in the booth, running his fingers through his hair. He was running through a list of reasons why Louis would cheat on him in his mind.

Was it because he wouldn't sleep with Louis?

Once the thought enters his mind, it doesn't seem to want to be leaving any time soon. Harry loves the Louis in the best way he can, but he wouldn't sleep with him, because he wanted it to be something special that he shared with his lover on their wedding night.

He always imagined Louis being the man that he'd marry.

Harry doubts that's ever going to happen now.

"Here's your coffee. Would you like anything else?" A perky waitress sets a coffee in front of him, and he sighs, shaking his head.

"That's all, thank you." He says, and his voice is hoarse and dry. The girl nods before walking off, and Harry picks up the coffee, taking a long, slow, drink of it, releshing in the warmth it provides going down his throat.

By the time he's finished his coffee, he's worked out a plan in his mind for when he sees Louis. Sort of.

Harry throws a ten down on the table, and quickly makes his way out of the diner and towards the hotel. When he finally gets there, there isn't a lot of papparazzi, so he manages to make it inside without much of a struggle. Harry goes to the room he was sharing with Louis, and thanks the Lord when Louis isn't in there. His stuff was still in a suitcase, as he usually didn't bother to unpack his things if they were only staying for one night.

Harry quickly changes into some fresh clothes, and brushes his teeth, before grabbing his suitcase. He wheels it out of the room, ignoring Louis' suitcase that was laying by the door. He makes his way to Paul's room, where the boys sometimes met in the morning before they got ready to go on the bus.

Harry knocks on the door, and Paul swings it open, his eyes widening when he sees Harry.

"Where have you been?! Jesus, get in here." Paul snaps, and Harry winces, but he had expected Paul to be upset with him. He drops his suitcase by the front door as he walks into the hotel room, and the first thing he notices is that the other lads aren't in here. The second thing he notices, is that the TV is on, and there's a video of him playing in the corner of the screen while some lady with obvious botax, talks about the video, about what could  _possibly_ be troubling the lucky Harry Styles?

Harry watches the video in horror. It's the video of him from last night, panicking in the middle of a crowd. His eyes were wide, and his body was shaking with sobs as he tried to make an escape.

Paul turns the TV off, staring at Harry, obviously waiting for an explanation.

"Just another hormonal night, yeah?" Harry murmurs,  and that's how their conversation ends.

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Harry is on the bus before anyone else, and he still hasn't seen Louis, or any of the other lads for that matter. Harry sighs, folding his arms behind hishead as he lays down on the surprisingly comfortable couch. He closes his eyes, attempting to doze off, when the door opens and then slams shut.

"Harry." A voice breathes, and he knows that voice. Harry doesn't move, attempting to seem asleep.

"Harry, I know you aren't asleep." There's that voice again. Harry sighs, finally sitting up and opening his eyes. He wants to cry when he sees Louis, because no matter what Louis does, he's always fucking perfect when Harry looks at him.

"What do you want, Lou?" He snaps, and he hears some shuffling from the main area of the bus, and he knows that the lads are probably about to get uncomfortable with the fight Louis and Harry are inevitably going to have, especially since they're stuck on the bus.

"You didn't let me explain." Louis says weakly, and Harry manages a laugh.

"Explain what? You can't explain your way out of..." Harry doesn't want to say it, because if he does, then he'll know it's real.

"Harry, plea-"

"You can't explain your way out of cheating on me!" Harry finally screams, and it hits him, and he feels just as bad as he felt last night. Louis is talking, saying something, and stepping towards Harry. Harry screams at him, pushing him away, and then he goes and locks himself in the bus bathroom.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Harry is grateful when they stop at a hotel for the night in the town where they're having a concert tomorrow night. Harry has spent most of his time on the bus either in the bathroom, or curled up into Liam's side on the little couch.

Louis doesn't attempt to talk to Harry, and for that, Harry is grateful. However, once all the lads have checked into their rooms, Harry can't sleep, so he thinks maybe he'll just go out for a little drink.

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Harry is drunk. He is most definitely drunk. He's leaning against a bar, while heavy music pounds throughout the club, and he's ordering another drink. He likes the feeling the alcohol gives him, the way it just kind of numbs everything.

"Do you want to dance?" A voice asks in his ear, and Harry turns around, and he's face to face with a guy maybe a couple years older than him. He had dark, curly black hair, and all Harry could think, was that he looked nothing like Louis.

"I'm not much of the dancing type." Harry purrs, lowering his voice. The guy stares at Harry, his eyes darkening.

"What kind of type are you then?" The guys asks quietly, his hand resting on Harry's hip. Harry takes a deep breath, takes the guys hand, and starts tugging him towards the restroom.

"I'll show you."

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Harry made it back to the hotel room at about seven in the morning, and by then all the lads were already up. He had time for a quick shower, but he didn't have time to take a fucking nap, before they were whisked off to the recording studio. Harry knew he was walking odd, he just hopes that the other lads don't notice. However, when they're all getting out of the car, Zayn stares at Harry a little bit longer than Harry is comfortable with.

"Are you alright, mate? You're walking a bit funny." Zayn notices, and Harry grimaces, shrugging, and there's a sharp intake of breath from behind him.

"Are you  _fucking kidding me_? You let someone fuck you Harry?" Louis snaps, and that's the first thing he's said to Harry since yesterday. Harry just snorts, turning to face Louis.

"I don't really think it's any of your buisness." Harry says simply, watching Louis as he scowls, his upper lip curling up.

"It is my fucking buisness when you're my boyfriend!" Louis exclaims in frustration, and Harry can't decide if he wants to cry or laugh.

"We're not together any more, Louis. I thought that was clear when I walked in on our choreographer blowing you." Harry snaps, and he turns around and walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know what you thought!!


	3. Chapter 3

Their vocal session that afternoon was stressful, and when one of their managers walked in after their last song, Harry was absolutely exhausted.

"Lads, I have something to talk to you about, so just take a seat, yeah?" Their manager, Luke, says, and Harry has no problem plopping himself down on the couch in the studio, even with the brief pain that shoots through his arse. Once they're all sitting down, with Louis as far away from Harry as possible, Luke begins to speak.

"Your first concert of the tour is in a week, and here's what I was thinking-"

Harry tunes out Luke for the next ten minutes that he's talking, closing his eyes. He wishes that when he closed his eyes, he didn't see Louis. But he always does.

"Hey, let's go get a drink later, you and I, whaddya say?" Niall is whispering rather loudly and his ear, and Harry simply nods so that Niall won't continue to talk.

After what feels like half an hour, the man that had been talking to them about their upcoming tour claps his hands together, wishes them all well, and excuses himself.

"I'm starved, we should grab some food." Liam says, standing up, lifting his arms up above him as he stretches.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Their week has been non-stop with dance rehearsals, recording sessions, voice lessons, and more. The tour was in two days and it was 5pm, and the boys finally had the rest of the night free. They were all lounging in Liam's room, while Niall pondered out loud what to do.

"Lets go out, explore the town! Then, if we happen to walk by a club that looks rather inviting, we can go in and have a couple drinks." Niall says, staring at Liam as he waits for an answer. Niall had been dying for a drink, and Liam had been reluctant to let Niall go anywhere because he thought Niall should cut back his drinking just a little bit. But Niall was staring at Liam with those damn eyes, and Liam gave in and said yes, because he loved seeing Niall happy.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The club was loud and Harry thought that there were too many strobe lights. But at least Niall seemed to be enjoying himself. Liam was hovering around Niall as he chatted up the bartender and ordered more drinks. Zayn looked rather snug, sitting in a booth in the corner of the club with a petite red-head. Louis took it upon himself to lounge in a booth and text away furiously on his phone. Harry was stationed at the bar, just a seat away from Niall.

"Harrrry!" A voice yells, and Niall is suddenly falling onto Harry, latching his arms tightly around his neck. Harry quickly grabs his waist to keep them from falling over, helping to steady Niall.

"I have to admit it, I admire your alcohol tolerance." Harry grins, trying to let himself relax.

Niall grins in return, and leans against Harry. "I sent out a group text to tell everyone to come party with us! We're going to have so much fun, Hazza!" Niall is yelling into his ear now, and Harry laughs, pushing him away. Niall stumbles and Liam is suddenly right next to him, steadying Niall with his his hands.

"Never more than a breath away, eh Liam?" Harry winks at him, before standing up and making his way to the bathroom.

He would rather be curled up in a dark hotel room right now, preferably with some caramelized popcorn. Everything felt so fake,  _he_ felt so fake. He wasn't having fun or enjoying himself, frankly he was just as miserable as he was the night he saw Louis with someone else. ~~  
~~

He washed his hands and made his way back out to the club, prepared to find Liam and let him know he was going to leave early to get some sleep.

Harry paused when he caught sight of Louis, still at the booth, but no longer alone.

James was sitting next to him now, a slight smile on his face, his body angled towards Louis. Harry wanted to throw up, and he weaved through the crowd until he finally got outside. He dropped down onto his knees beside the gutter, emptying his stomach out onto the street.

He coughs, wiping his mouth, a bit disgusted with himself.

"Rough night?" A voice sounds, and Harry quickly pushes himself to his feet, despite being a bit unsteady on his feet. There was a man a couple feet away from him, a cigarette dangling from his fingers as he walked a little bit closer to Harry. He was tall, probably 6'1''. He had soft-looking brown hair, and a rather nice suit on. He looked... respectable.

"You could say that." Harry answers, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Nothing a good night's sleep and a healthy breakfast won't fix." He added, attempting a smile. The man smiled, a bit crookedly, nodding as he looked Harry up and down.

"M'names Laurence." The man tells him after a rather long, uncomfortable period of silence.

"Harry."

"I know."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

"Shit, shit, just let me open the door." Harry pants as Laurence sucks on his neck while he fumbles for the key card to his hotel room. He finally gets the door open, and before he has a chance to think, he's being pulled inside and then shoved up against the door.

"You ever had sex with a man before, Harry?" Laurence whispers in his ear, and Harry's jeans feel a little bit too tight.

"O-once." He mumbles, reaching out to touch Laurence's chest- something he had been wanting to do since he saw him.

"Yeah? I guarantee you no one will ever make you feel half as good as I do." He whispers into Harry's ear, and even though Harry doesn't believe him, he just nods and presses himself closer.

His shirt is gone now, and Laurence is working on his pants, and Harry just wanted to be fucked already, to be distracted from his thoughts.

"Mmm, you're so hard baby. Want me to help you out with that?" Laurence has Harry's pants off now and is cupping him through his boxers. Harry whimpers a little bit, nodding frantically.

"Please, please." He whispers.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

**PLEASE READ:**

**omg y'all i am so sorry its been so long I'm in my junior year which is like the hardest year ever and i have so so so so much school work but now I'm on break and someone commented on this story which inspired me to write and eek I'm so sorry i love you all i promise <333333**

 

**PLEASE comment if you want another chapter!!**


	4. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE END NOTE

To say that things were awkward, would be an understatement. Things were tense, and uncomfortable.

It was Friday night, and the boys were winding down after an intense concert, and it was just the five of them in the green room. Harry kept staring at Louis, and Louis kept staring at the food, and the other boys kept staring at each other. No one said anything, the energy of the concert gone.

"Did you fuck him?" Harry finally asks, staring straight at Louis. Louis chokes on the sandwich he's eating, and he sets the plate down, taking a drink of water.

"Excuse me?" Louis asks once he can speak.

"I asked if you fucked him, Louis. It's a simple question." Harry spoke as if he was speaking to a little child. The other boys wanted to leave, but they also didn't want to attract attention to themselves by making a big fuss leaving the room, considering they were piled up on the couch, while Louis and Harry were standing.

Louis looked like he wanted to lie, but somehow, he couldn't make himself lie to Harry anymore.

"Yes." He finally said, and Harry's firm expression wavers for a moment, before becoming neutral again.

"How many times?" Harry's voice is strained, and he's gripping the chair next to him like it's his life line.

"I... fuck, I don't know. There were so many times, Hazza. I wish I could take them back." Louis whispers, and Harry's face falls.

"Oh god... The nights when you got home late, saying you were out with Nick, or when you would sneak off..." Harry couldn't continue his sentence, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. He mutters some pointless excuse as he runs out of the room, and to the nearest bathroom. He barely makes it to the toilet in time, before he's throwing up everything he's had to eat that day. When he's finally finished, he rinses out his mouth, and grips the edge of the bathroom counter, staring at himself in the mirror.

_Look at that face. No wonder he cheated on you, you're fucking disgusting._

Harry ignores the voice in the back of his head. He wasn't disgusting. Fuck, a shitload of people want to sleep with him.

Harry was angry, so angry, and he just wanted to hurt Louis the way that Louis hurt him.

He quickly makes his way out of the bathroom.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was eleven in the morning, and the boys were all supposed to be at the concert hall at no later than nine. Of course, Harry chose this day to be late.

"Where the fuck is he? Look, I barely know the routine for this concert, and I really need to run through it." Niall complains, plopping himself down on the couch. Louis was sitting in a chair, his leg shaking up and down. All the lads had their phones on the table, just in case Harry called any of them.

Finally, a phone rang, and Liam sprung to his feet, grabbing the ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"Liam? Why are you answering Zayn's phone?" Harry sounded tired, like he had been up late and hadn't gotten very much rest.

"Nevermind that, where are you?" Liam was impatient now, because other than sounding tired, Harry seemed to be just fine.

"What do yo- oh, fuck, i didn't even see the time. Look, I'll be there in thirty, alright?" Liam opens his mouth to respond, but the line goes dead. Liam sighs, frustrated, tossing the phone on the table as he sits down.

"He's on his way."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Harry wasn't exactly sure where he was. He had woken up alone in a cold bed, and his clothes were scattered throughout the apartment. He didn't remember much from last night, just drinking a lot, and then dancing, and then... Then some handsome man had offered to give him a lift home, and they both knew where they were really going to go, and Harry agreed.

He got dressed, and once he called Liam, he checked the apartment to see if anyone was there, but it was empty. Harry figures that this is what one night stands are like.

He stops in the bathroom before he leaves, and his eyes widen when he sees all the love bites littering his neck. Some looked rather painful, and when Harry lifted his hand to touch one, he winced at the sharp pain.

Spraying some of the mystery man's cologne on, Harry quickly makes his way outside, waving down a taxi.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys im sorry this is so short!!! i just wanted to give you a lil something since its been so long!! i promise to add another chapter ASAP. let me know what you think!!


	5. Just Another Lonely Heart

Harry had walked into the room with a scarf on, which all of the lads thought was a little suspicious, because it definitely wasn't cold enough for a scarf. Nobody asked any questions though, and they got started practicing the routine for the concert.

Once it was decided that the boys had practiced enough, they all collapsed onto the large couch in the corner of the room, exhausted.

"I'm hungry." Niall whined, holding his stomach. Nobody said anything, and Harry glanced at Niall, thinking.

"I think I saw a McDonalds about a block down. D'ya wanna go get some food with me?" Harry asked, and Niall jumped up, suddenly full of energy.

"Sounds good to me. Anybody want anything?' He asked, glancing at the other boys, who stayed silent. Harry shrugged, getting up from the couch, heading towards the exit with Niall.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"So, how are you doin', mate?" Niall asked with his hands in his pockets as they made their way down the sidewalk with their hoodies up.

"I'm good, and you?" Harry answers automatically, his eyes cast downward. Niall rolls his eyes.

"Come on mate, we both know that's some bullshit. After everything with Louis, there's no way you're  _good_." Niall says, bumping Harry with his shoulder. Harry grimaces, shrugging. No one had really asked Harry how he was, or even brought up the thing. They had always been HarryandLouis and now they were just Harry and Louis and everyone acted like they had never once before been attached at the hip to each other.

"It hurts." Harry admitted, sighing. "Knowing that I was never enough for him. It's not a feeling I want to feel."

"You know you were enough, Harry. Don't say that you weren't." Niall is quick to comfort him, but Harry just shakes his head.

"If I was enough, he wouldn't have done what he did." Harry mumbles, and just like that, the conversation is over.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Harry was buzzing with energy. The show had been okay. Hundreds of fans screaming their names was amazing, as always, but it was hard to be around Louis. It just made him sad.

Now he was out at a club someone suggested he check out(if he was being 100% honest, he wasn't entirely sure where he even was), and it felt like the best night of his life.

"Aren't you that Harry Styles guy?" Someone yelled over the music, and Harry set down his now empty shot glass.

"Yeah!" Harry shouted back, sticking his hand out. The guy took it, smiling, leaning down to kiss his hand. Harry giggled, pulling his hand away once the man's hand touched his skin, feeling silly.

"It's an honor to meet you." The man said in a posh, teasing voice.

"The honor is mine. I've never seen anyone with eyes as blue as yours." Harry teased, even though Louis had eyes bluer than anything, but he wasn't going to think about that.

"I got them from my mum." The man said, leaning in closer to Harry. Harry grinned.

"Maybe I should meet your mum then. I do love blue eyes." Harry's body felt all tingly, almost like he was floating.

"You're very pretty, Harry." The man said, and his eyes were locked onto Harry's lips. Harry grinned, suddenly feeling the need to jump around.

"Dance with me!" He exclaimed, grabbing the mystery man's hand, pulling him towards the dance floor. The man slid his hands onto Harry's hips, pulling him close. Harry threw his hands up, not really paying attention to the man anymore, just wanting to move and get all of this energy out of his system.

After a couple songs, Harry felt something hard against his arse, and the mystery man spun Harry around so they were face to face.

"Why don't we go somewhere nicer, love?" The man asked, his lips to Harry's ear. His voice was gentle, and if Harry had never loved Louis, then this man's voice would melt him. Harry pulled back to tell the man yes, but when he saw blue eyes staring back, all he could think of was Louis.

"Please get away from me." Harry said gently, and the man wrinkled his brow, like he thought he heard wrong.

"What?" He asked, moving closer as if to hear better.

"Get away from me!" Harry yelled, shoving the man back, his breathing heavy. Fuck, there were so many people, and he felt claustrophobic. Without even considering to stop and say 'excuse me', Harry shoved his way through the crowd, and he finally found the exit. He stumbled outside onto the sidewalk, trying not to hyperventilate. He looked around to try and figure out where he was, but he couldn't read the street signs, because his vision was going all funny.

"Shit." He mumbled, pulling out his phone. He could barely see, so he had to manage to tell Siri to call Zayn. He didn't know who else to call.

"Mm, 'ello?" A sleepy voice answered, and Harry wanted to cry at the sound of hearing someone familiar.

"Zayn, Zayn, I don't know where I am." Harry's voice is panicked as he paces back and forth up and down the sidewalk in front of the club.

"Harry, relax, okay? What do you see around you?" Zayn sounded more alert now, and Harry frantically looked around him, but he couldn't focus on anything.

"I don't know, I don't know. I can't see, everything is blurry and my visions all funny. Zayn you have to come get me, please." Harry lets out a choked sob at the end, and he decides to stop walking, as it was just making him dizzy.

"Calm down, okay? I need you to tell me if you've taken anything tonight." Zayn's voice is calm, and Harry likes the sound of it. He hears muffled voices in the background from Zayn's end.

"I-I took some ibuprofen before the show started, I had a headache." Harry explains, leaning against a wall, and sliding down against it.

"Have you taken anything else? Did anybody give you anything?" Zayn still sounded so calm, and Harry didn't understand how Zayn could be so calm when he was sitting here freaking out.

"W-well when I got to the club, someone gave me something they said would make me feel good." Harry was scared to tell Zayn that he took something.

"Do you know what it was?" Zayn asked, and Harry's bottom lip trembled.

"You're going to get mad at me." He whispered, closing his eyes.

"I promise not to get mad, love. I just want to know what you took." Zayn's voice was soothing, and it relaxed Harry a little bit.

"I just want to come home." Harry whined softly into the phone. He didn't even know what home was anymore. It wasn't his flat that he shared with Louis, and he no longer felt at home in his mum's little house. The hotel was the closest thing he had to home right now.

"I know, love. Just stay where you are, can you do that for me?" Zayn asked, and Harry nodded, forgetting that Zayn couldn't see him.

"Harry, can you do that for me?" Zayn's voice sounded through the phone again, and Harry took a deep breath.

"Yes." Harry mumbled, feeling very tired.

"Good. I'm going to stay on the phone until I get to you, okay?"

"How are you going to find me?" Harry asked softly, because he didn't even know where he was.

"Paul used the GPS on your phone. Just relax, yeah?"

Harry sat there and let Zayn talk to him over the phone, even though Harry was too tired to talk back, but that was okay.

 

Harry thinks he must've fallen asleep on the ground, because all of a sudden Zayn is gently shaking him awake.

"Harry, wake up, it's time to go." Zayn murmurs gently, sliding his arms under Harry to help tug him up. Harry gets to his feet, and his body sags against Zayn for support.


	6. Heartbeat

Harry wakes up with a pounding head and an upset stomach. He felt a body next to him, and when he opened his eyes, he realized he had his arm wrapped tightly around Zayn.

"'Bout time you got up." Zayn says, and Harry scoots away from Zayn, pushing himself up into a sitting position on the bed.

"What time is it?" Harry asks, rubbing his eyes. Zayn must have gotten out of bed at some point, because he was already dressed and ready for the day it seemed.

"Time to go to rehearsal. Then we have some free time until the concert tonight." Zayn gets out of bed, pocketing his phone and wallet. He grabs a pile of clean clothes that were piled neatly on the table, and hands them to Harry. Harry stares at the clothes in confusion, as if finding it strange to have something so innocent and caring done for him. He shook his head, and stood up, quickly getting changed. Once he brushed his teeth and grabbed a granola bar for the road, Zayn opened the hotel room door for him, and they headed out.

"Hey, I wanted to say thanks. For last night." Harry murmurs awkwardly as Paul opens the door for him and Zayn to get in the car. The other lads must already be at rehearsal. Zayn shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders.

"No big deal, mate. That's what mates are for, right?" He says, and Harry nods. They're both quiet the whole car ride, but it's okay. It's comfortable. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This was the sixth time Harry messed up on this stupid dance move that James had been trying to teach the lads. Everyone else had it(although Niall was still a little sloppy), except him. It was just so hard to focus when the guy trying to teach him how to move his body is the guy that his ex-boyfriend fucked.

"Harry, watch me, okay? It's simple, you just gotta do this step and then follow through, alright?" His tone is gentle, like he's teaching a child something, and it pisses Harry off. The other lads are standing by the catering table, goofing off and eating. Harry attempts the dance move one more time, and messes up, again. James moves to stand next to him, placing his hands on his hips as he stands behind him.

"Okay, so you just gotta move like th-" He starts to instruct, but Harry cuts him off, spinning around and pushing him away.

"Don't you fucking touch me." He says, his finger pointed at the man, and even though they're the same height, Harry suddenly feels bigger, better, more intimidating.

"Look, I'm just trying to help you get the moves down, okay?" James has his hands up defensively, and the room is silent, but Harry doesn't notice.

"Really? Maybe I should get some extra practice, you know, after hours. Do you think it would help if I fucked you? Would that help my dance moves?" Harry can't stop himself, he's angry, and he's hurt, and part of the reason his heart aches so fucking bad is standing right in front of him. James seems to stutter for words, and Harry laughs. He actually laughs.

"Oh, oh, that's great. You fuck with my boyfriend behind my back, then you think that you can actually still act normal around me? Like nothing changed? That's great." Harry laughs, but it's an empty laugh, one that maybe freaks the other boys out a little. James opens his mouth to say something, but Harry swings his fist, slamming it into James' face with as much force as he can muster. Before he can even register what just happened, Harry is being shoved out of the room, while Louis is yelling out Harry's name in a very indignant tone. Harry gets shoved into the dressing room, and the door slams.

"What the fuck, Harry?" Liam has his hands in the air like he has no clue what just happened. Harry's breathing is heavy, and the feeling of what just happened was exhilarating.

"Why is everybody acting like I did something wrong?" Harry demands, and he's just angry about everything right now, because it feels like the whole world is against him.

"Look, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong at first, but you know that's the wrong way to handle things. Just stay in here and try to cool off, alright? You can come out when you can control yourself." Liam's voice is stern, and Harry thinks about replying but he decides not to. Liam leaves the room, slamming the door behind him. Harry huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he drops down onto the couch.

"Fuckin' wanker." Harry mutters, not sure who he was referring to.

 

The concert tonight wasn't as great as usual. It was still good, but it seemed like something was off, especially when the lads all seemed to keep a little distance from Harry. After the show, their manager took it upon himself to let him know that James would no longer be their choreographer, and they were flying in someone new for the next show. Louis looked pissed, while the other lads just grimaced. Harry shrugged, not feeling bad. He knew that when it came down to it, management would fire James so that there would be a minimum amount of stress on Harry. Nobody said anything to Harry on their way out to the car that would take them back to the hotel. And no one said anything to Harry when he opted to take a taxi somewhere else. No one said anything.

 

**3 Weeks Later**

It was really starting to hit Harry how much he missed Louis. It was so hard not having him. They only talked to each other when it was necessary, but other than that, they had nothing. Harry felt like Louis didn't care enough to keep trying to apologize. It's like he was fine with it being over. The more feelings Harry felt towards Louis, the harder he partied.

Now he was at a club somewhere in Chicago. They have a concert tomorrow night, but tonight was free, so Harry decided to spend it at some club he didn't know the name of.

After three shots of tequila, Harry was starting to feel a little fuzzy. Some guy wearing a button up shirt offered to buy him a drink. Harry said yes without even looking at the guy too closely. A drink is a drink.

Suddenly a hand was holding a drink in front of his face. Harry blinked, snapping out of whatever haze he was in. He takes the drink with a thank-you, and quickly downs it. The guy grins as he downs it and Harry slams the glass down on the counter once he finishes.

"I need to run to the loo, promise me you'll still be here when I get back?" Harry murmurs. The guy nods, saying something in return that Harry doesn't actually listen to. He makes his way to the back of the club and stumbles into the loo. He felt fuzzy, a different kind of fuzzy then he usually felt from the alcohol. Before he realizes what he's doing, he has his phone in his hand as he slides down against the wall and down onto the dirty bathroom floor. He holds the phone to his ear as it rings, while loud music echoes in his other ear.

"'Ello?" A sleepy voice mumbles as it answers the phone and Harry wants to cry. He always loved Louis' sleepy voice.

"I was saving myself for you." Harry blurts out without thinking. "I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. I didn't ever want anyone else to touch me. I just want you." Harry's words were slurred but he knew Louis could still understand them.

"Harry, why are you calling me?" Louis sounded exasperated, like he couldn't keep talking.

"I just love you so much, Lou. But it hurts so bad, so fucking bad, and I don't know how to make it stop hurting." Harry chokes out. He's having trouble holding the phone up, and somethings wrong but he just can't figure it out.

"You know I love you Harry. I wish I could fix it. I want to fix everything." Louis has a soft voice, and Harry is in love with it.

"But you can't." He cries out, and there's an ache where his heart is. Louis is silent except for his breathing, but Harry's okay with listening to it. It relaxes him.

There's black dots in his vision now, and he's sure that something is wrong.

"Lou, Lou, you gotta help me." His words are even more slurred as his mouth starts to feel numb.

"What do you need, Harry? Tell me what you need." Louis is whispering like he's afraid that if he talks too loud, he'll scare Harry off the phone.

"I t-think someone put sometin' in my drink." He feels woozy, and he's not holding the phone anymore, but it's just resting on his shoulder.

"What? Harry, where are you?" Louis sounds more urgent now, and Harry tries to reply, but his mouth won't work.

"Harry? You better fucking answer me right now, tell me where the fuck you are." He sounds desperate, and Harry wishes he could reply but his body isn't working anymore. Vaguely, he notices someone come into the bathroom. It's the guy from earlier. The phone slips onto the floor and Harry just lies there helplessly as the man bends over to pick him up off the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow okay its been a very long time. anyways, if you guys like the chapter, feel free to leave a comment. oR EVEN BETTER SEND ME A TUMBLR MESSAGE??? my tumblr is http://renowned-drunk.tumblr.com and it's much easier to reach me on there since I'm always on.
> 
> xoxo,
> 
> me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!! I'm not sure about this one, so comment if you think it should be continued please!


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